3/30 rents..

Ok well I have a Mam and a Dad, Allison and Stuart. Not a mum and a dad but a Mam and Dad. We are a northern family so it's just a thing we say 'cos us northerners rule! 

I would say I'm fairly close to my parents I ring them for random chats whenever I'm on my own or down. My mam tends to be at work when I do these calls and my dad well he just hates them! I put him on my magic numbers where I get 2 1/2 hours free to his number he was devastated lol.  We never used to be like this though. 

My mam didn't like the way I was living my life as I had been ill for years and when I got control over it I was a rebel without a cause, getting drunk all the time, I threw my education away with it. We were never particularly close but over the years we have got better and all the women on my mothers side including myself and my sister have what's known as 'the bennington laugh' basically we laugh and talk at the same time which to the men sounds like insane nonsense but we all understand each other. I can have the most random conversations with my mam, because she is mental and has the biggest potty humour of anyone I know. Very 'Mrs Brown's Boy's'. If you have never heard of it youtube it.

If you read my previous 30 things post you would already have an idea about my relationship with my dad. It wasn't the best of relationships. We are very much alike, we can't abide morons, we always seem to speak with a tone of indignation, we both have to be right etc. But I moved out at 18 and we get on so much better since we weren't living in each others pockets as it were. We have the same humour and like the same stuff. If I need to whinge at someone and Steven isn't around it's my dad I ring and get his advice on stuff which tends to be 'oh I don't know ask your mother' on most things.

But all in all, since I moved out and then got married my relationship with them both is much better and I know they will always be there for me and that's the main thing right?

This is me and my rents on mine and Stevens wedding day the second photo has Steven in too. <3

My scarf is done!

Whoo only took me 5 days of work and one 200g ball of chunky variegated wool but its done! After a few mess up's at the start and when I was half way through casting off I ran out off wool! Which meant I had to pull out 4 rows just so I could cast off! Nightmare! I have like 5 more to do aswell! I have pictures to show you but be nice I have been on a gruelling 12 hour shift and it was taken at 10.30pm with no make up and my hair a birds nest lol! 

creepshow mother bitches

Was just finally uploading my photos from the Creepshow gig I went to in York with fat boi at the beginning of the month, and thought why not post some of them here?

So me and fat boi went off to York to see the Creepshow that has been established. We also had cocktails at the evil eye lounge. We met the band! You can see photos if you don't believe me. I not only met the band I created a mosh pit with Kenda the lead singer, they dedicated their song 'the garden' to me and they dedicated their last song to me and fat boi which was 'rue morgue radio', I even got Kenda's airline ticket which she got the band to sign. They signed a towel which the bouncers stole off me. Fat boi got hit on by the bar maid but he forgot to get her last name and her number dumbass... 

2nd best night of my life that was first being my night do at my wedding. I've seen some  of my favourite bands  and this by far was the BEST gig I've ever been too!                                   

2/30 fears!

Okie cokie so three fears and why. That's quite hard I'm scared of a few things but most are irrational and I have no real reason for them. But I'm thinking hard as I'm typing.

Well first and foremost I think would be losing Steven, no not being alone or single (although that would suck) it's more he is wanting to join the Para regiment of the army. I was dead set against it, like really abhorred the idea. But now I cant wait even though I would be moving away from my family and friends, there is the chance I could go to university. But back to the fear, you hear nearly everyday of a soldier dying and even though Steven would be in more of an elite regiment from what I gather, there's still a chance he will die. Sure we all die and even though it's expected it's never necessarily how we want it. Although Steven has said we are going to die together in bed asleep, that our he has to go first as he wouldn't be able to cope. Defeats the object doesn't it? Silly boy.

So second fear that isn't completely irrational is probably depths, nope not height or water just depths. I LOVE deep water to an extent, if I can grab something not too far away you know like at a pool that's fine, but as soon as I'm unable to do so or I'm in the sea and who ever I'm with is too far away I freak. It all boils down to 3 separate events in my life the first was when I was about 7 I was in swimming lessons and we were told to get into the water off the ledge, I slipped and was under the water for what felt like age in reality it was probably 10seconds. The second was at a beach with my family I went in the sea the waves crashed over me by some rocks, I still sometimes think I feel it happening again even when I'm not in water. My aunty said she thought I was swept off, funny that I don't remember seeing her position move from where she was beforehand but anyway I'm here now. The third time I jumped off the middle diving board and as I was coming back up I was beginning to need to breath badly and that water was something like 10m deep or more. So yeah I don't fair well in deep water due to depth.

Right the third and final one this is hard haha alot harder than I thought. Maybe the feeling that I'm never good enough for someone and I am always inadequate. I'm always in fear that if I let people in and they see the 'real' me they freak and think I'm being stalkery. It could just be labelled as paranoia but its so deep rooted in me I feel like its something I'm never going to be able to let go. My dad growing up was there for us he taught us to fish, ride bikes, helped us with homework -  he was great till he got I dunno overly  tired and he would lash out at me, my mam. School noticed it was that bad. I used to read the same books as my dad, listen to the same music, like the same subjects as he did. He used to get told that I was a delight to talk to because I could have mature adult conversations from such a young age. Don't get me wrong I love my dad, I do genuinely love metal and rock and discworld books and history. But until I was 17 I thought my dad hated me, like despised me. (he doesn't, I know this now) But I used to self harm which is one of the reasons I left/got kicked out. I get this over whelming urge to cut myself whenever I feel inadequate or I have upset someone. Pathetic huh? I know I'm not alone loads of people have been through and felt what I have but it doesn't make it feel any less scary.

Well there you go a look into the messed up psyche of me, however that was quite cathartic to put it down in black and white.

1/30 list 20 random facts

Well here goes nothing huh?

1. I have 2 siblings, both younger, both taller than me too...bitches. one sister Ashleigh and one brother Robert otherwise known as Bobs/Bobby (he hates it).
2. My knees click..LOTS, they sound like they kinda click and roll which is odd. I mean I'm 25 not 85!
3. I love barbershop there is just something about it...*daydreams*
4. I'm a spelling nazi but I have horrendous grammar.
5. I'm addicted to notebooks...I have them everywhere, even my mouse matt is a notebook! 
6. I've danced with Kenda Legaspi from The Creepshow, I even have her airline ticket from Canada signed by her and the band :D
7. I have a toy Llama called Lawrence who fights my nightmares haha he actually sits above my head on the headboard on the bed, my husband bought me him as one of our first christmas presents.
8. I have a stink pot turtle called Marmaduke. we used to have a "zoo". We had 2 snakes - Butterz and Mercutio, a larger turtle - squirtle, 2 leopard geckos - Rocket (RIP) and Chomper, a chameleon - Seymour, 2 hamsters Monty (RIP) and Shade (RIP), 2 fire bellied toads - Saffron and Sarsparilla (RIP), a green amazon parrot - Ollie and a cat - Tabs. We have had to downsize as Steven is joining the Para regiment next year and I wouldn't be able to cope so we have Tabs and Marmaduke.
9. I own a Nissan Almera in black...that I cant legally drive yet :'(
10. I always told my Grandad that i could live off sausages, leek/marrow in white sauce and mash potato for the rest of my life. Probably still could.
11. I can care for anyone but my own family, I struggle to cope :'(
12. I like to reel off random phrases from books, songs and films at inappropriate times.
13. I adore Italian food make me some and I will love you forever.
14. My favourite thing to cook is homey/autumny/farm foods like stew and dumplings, cottage pie, casseroles and pies in general I make fantastic pies.
15. Steven and I have known of each other since we were kids, throughout school since I was about 7 I've been close friends with his older brother Chris who if is ever mentioned again will be known as Ted (his nickname).
16. Steven and I have a day known as 'the day I never left' basically I came round one day and never left simple huh? He asked me to move in a week later, told me he loved me the week after :)
17. We got engaged in Rome on the highest natural point, 5 months into our relationship. The view was breathtaking.
18. I have the most gorgeous nephew called Connor or as I have lovingly nicknamed him since he was born 'Spud'.
19. I have had many nicknames growing up, 'skinny' off my dad, 'felicity fernackerpan' off my grandad (dont ask I never got chance to ask why), 'space monkey' off my mates at college and 'tinkerbell' off pretty much everyone else I go by tink now, except brown sugar she calls me 'elastigirl' for some reason haha. 'trouble' off my uncle colin, 'twig/twiglet' off Bobs and off my husband Steven I get 'poly bear' :)
20. I tend to name my friends after food. Shelly is 'kit kat', Jade is 'pie', Emz is 'soup', Guy D is 'pudding', Emma is 'brown sugar', yet Guy H is 'jew' as he's jewish and Bewsey is 'fat boi' only I can call him that however.

The view ^^ <3

Pin It Pinterest

So I'm a pintrest whore! Im on it on my phone and my computer loads I am slowly trying to get all my friends into it too.



See!! ^ right there whoring myself out only on pinterest of course.

Well after playing around tonight I came across a blog (http://cherishinghopesanddreams.blogspot.co.uk) that had 30 questions for 30 days and I thought why the hell not. 

Here's the list Jessi provides:

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 fears and how they became legitimate fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people that have influenced you and how.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15.If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you were most great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one super-power, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat? 
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misundertand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

I will answer the first question in a new post as this is getting kinda long!

TTFN x

today today!

Today has been a good day, I have spent the day with my new but very dear friend Cathy. I may not have known her long but we just click like we have always been friends or we have been friends in another life. I do believe were crafty soul mates and I love her lotsly <3

 We have had a day of whining about yes you guessed right men (can they ever do right?) but that's not all! No it isn't we have pottered in her garden I have taken some baaaaad photos of her aspiring vegetable plot in her grandads greenhouse, for her blog (thatcraftypieceofwork.blogspot.co.uk) which I will be emailing along to her shortly! promise! We have been hard at work with knitting and crocheting. I'm in the process of knitting my first ever cable scarf which if I might say so myself is pretty damn awesome!! My nanna had sat there last week with my pattern going knit 4 pearl 5 etc and we decided we weren't winning anything at bingo as it becomes very monotonous bit like calling the numbers at bingo.

This is the pattern:

This is the length now hehe:

She may hate me for this but hey! This is my little babydoll :) with her first red tomato yay! 

I've been a bit down with one thing and another and Cathy has helped me tremendously today I seriously don't think she realises how much her listening, offering solutions and nattering on about her own problems helps me think 'wait a cotton picking minute I don't have to be miserable! I can be the happy person I once was!'

Thats it for tonight me thinks ciao for now
Stephie

Here goes nothing!

Well well well! What have we here? Sandy Claws hmmm I'm really scared! Sorry I cant help myself. S'pose I best get this one out of the way, if I write something and I think of lyrics or phrases I say it so it's gonna happen here too! Going off on tangents is one of my better annoying qualities.  Lets see if I can get off to a promising start with this little number shall I?
 I'm Stephie a little bit punk rock, a little bit 1950s throwback housewife! I am going to use this blog to share my crafty, homey or personal accomplishments, with well probably no one but pffft this is my little archive where I can come back and see just how far I have come. 

I'm a whole quarter of a century old, married to my fabulous (<--- had to he hates the word) amazing husband Steven. I am a care assistant for the elderly and those suffering with mental health issues. I'm also (basic) qualified to work with autistic adults which I loved. I bake, cook, knit, kind of crochet, partly patchwork, wish to garden...haha soon to be a trend! 

I figure that's enough of an introduction as I would like some shroud of mystery to linger at least until my posts become more regular :)
TTFN!
Stephie